your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
