Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
