How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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