Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
