I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
