Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just pee around me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
