We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
