I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i think i have two assholes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We left the knife in your bed.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
