Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
