i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
