Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!

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(443): View more from Maryland

I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me

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(212): View more from New York

It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis

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(320): View more from Minnesota

don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING

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(740): View more from Ohio

I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.

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(305): View more from Florida

New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'

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(770): View more from Georgia

If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.

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