There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
