well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
