Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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