He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
