bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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