As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
