i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
