fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
