I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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