When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
