Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
