i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
