he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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