all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
