I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
