Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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