best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
