There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
