I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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