Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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