And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
