i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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