yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize