READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
