we're chasing vodka with high fives
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
