what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
