did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
