Small penises have feelings too.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
