So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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