i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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