Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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