I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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