Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
