Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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