I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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