no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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