would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
