my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
