i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
